Although I pretended to my mother that I
was fine about A moving to Scotland I was bereft. I missed her little face and her bouncy,
optimistic demeanour. Most of all I
missed her taut body, her passion and willingness to
take part in sexual activity. Indeed, to initiate it; something I had believed
women did not do. Worst still, my
friends at school kept asking after her.
"Did she dump you?" I was
asked repeatedly.
"No, her family moved to
Scotland," I replied. Again and again.
The letters became much less frequent.
One a day to start with, then one every three days then one a week. They were
very sweet and some were very sexy.
"I wish we had done it, now," she
wrote on July 10th. "I wish I could have felt your cock inside me, making
me wet and making me come!" Yes, I wished that too. We were so close to It
but it didn't happen. Partly, the
drop off in letters was my fault because I found writing back painful. I was
probably the one who slowed on the letter writing front. Initially, we had been
full of optimism about trying to meet up but soon realised that it wasn't going
to happen,
"You can't go to Glasgow. It's a terrible
place!" said my mother. She did not approve of Scotland. A wrote
that her mother had started to realise how close we had got and decided that
any further meetings were out of the question without a chaperone. Not what we
wanted. "There are lots more girls,"
my mother said.
Yes, but where? Nowhere at school, that
was for sure. Dobs thought I should join the volunteers organisation we shared with
the girl's school next door. I asked if
there were any nice girls in it.
"Not really," he admitted.
Other than his girl, S, I assumed but I didn't know that their relationship had cooled. Fortunately,
other boys were starting to get girlfriends in the sixth form, so you were of
less and less interest if you had one. Or used to have one. JM, was reputed to have
done It with a girl. It was widely accepted that he was the first in the
year. Part of the reason for Dobs eventually breaking up with S was that
she didn't want to do It. I was starting to realise that A had
been a very singular girl. What if A was the only girl who would ever like me? I was not very interesting. I didn't like
sports or pop music. I didn't go to the cinema or to parties. Other boys
were staring to have birthday parties where some girls were invited but I lived a lot further
away from school than most. Dobs was the only one I knew who lived further away
than I did.
One incident perked me up during that
time, though. Towards the end of the summer term, we had an English department
trip to London to see Dorothy Tutin and Alec McCowen in Antony and Cleopatra,
which we were studying for A-level. We were quite excited, as I, Claudius' Derek
Jacobi was in it (as was an unknown actor, playing second soldier, called Alan
Rickman). We had all enjoyed I, Claudius on the BBC, which ran in the
Autumn of 1976, as it was full of debauchery and nudity. I watched it with my
mother quite happily as she was very liberal as regards sex and nudity, thank
goodness. We were all brought up to wander around the house naked at bath times
and such like. Tutin, who was in her late forties at the time, gave a
surprisingly sexual performance to the delight of the school group, I can still
remember her grinding on a couch, to the delight of my classmates.
Unfortunately, some of our party got so excited that they had to stop the play
at one point and tell us to be quiet and behave or we would be ejected from the
Old Vic. Of course, the teachers in charge gave us a good talking to during the
interval.
Even more exciting was the presence of a
girls' school group during the same matinee performance. Much eyeing up ensued.
As we went back into the auditorium one of the girls came up to me and said: "You can be
my Antony," before slipping off with her giggling friends. No doubt it was
some sort of dare. But, she had chosen me to show off to her friends
with. Needless to say, I was ribbed about it ,mercilessly on the minibus back
to school. One of our number, M, was going on about my "new
girlfriend" and being generally irritating, as he usually was. One of the teachers snapped at him along the
lines of 'you should be so lucky to have a pretty girl come up to you like
that, That is why he can get girls to pose naked for him and you can't!' Oh dear, the dreaded nude pictures of A surfaced again. It shut M up,
though. He was a pompous little squit and had ridiculously long hair, even for
1977. One of the other boys, H, who was very grown up for his age,
ventured that being admired by women was a great life asset. He was shouted
down because he was short and intellectual. His father was a sculptor which everyone
laughed at, imagining some sad person making ugly things from clay, while, we assumed,
his mother had to work to bring in the cash. Years later, I found out that he
was a really famous sculptor, a Royal Academician and his bronzes were in
galleries all over the world. If you want to buy one these days you will have
to pay around £45,000 for a big one. He did a lot of sculptures of naked women;
one of his models for these being his wife, H's mother. H, never
mentioned any of this and just ignored the baiters,
Shortly after A had gone to
Scotland, I did my mock A -levels and my Religious Studies O-level. My mock
results were very good indeed. I was called in to see the Deputy Head
(Conk-corde, as he was known because of his prodigious nose) who said he was
going to put me down for the Oxbridge group. This meant staying on for an extra
term and doing seventh term entry to university. It meant that you had already
got your A-level results when you applied, instead of being made offers and
then trying to achieve them. You spent the term preparing for the entrance exam
and the interview. It also meant that unlike everyone else who applied for University
in the first term of the Upper Sixth, you had to take a year off (actually ten months)
between school and university. My mother thought this was brilliant but it
meant I had to be on top of my game with every essay. It became a three way
battle in English and History between Dobs, Mutt and I to see who could get the
best mark every week. There was, therefore, little time to think about girls,
except at night when I thought about A and her delicious, prawn cocktail
flavoured pussy.
Just after we broke up for the summer
holiday, we went down to see my uncle and aunt in Hampshire. They weren't my real uncle and
aunt but they were our closest family friends. They used to live in the house next door when
we lived in our previous home. They now had a big house a few miles away (which my father
had designed, as he was an architect). But they also had a house down in Christchurch, where
they had a motor cruiser. We were going to have a long weekend with them, which I was
looking forward to, as I would get to steer the boat.
My mother worked Tuesday to Friday but took
a day off so we could drive down Thursday evening. They had an unusual house,
built into the side of a hill,with a double garage and their master bedroom
suite on the ground floor while upstairs was an open plan living and dining
room, a connected kitchen and three other bedrooms, where we would be staying. What
I liked most about their house, though, was the picture they had in their
living room. It was a huge print, about 4' by 3', of a drawing of a naked
woman, her back arched, her breasts and erect nipples thrusting upwards, one
leg raised to reveal her pubis. She was seemingly supported on her back by
random swirling lines, as if she was weightless. She looked, frankly, like she
was in the throes of a massive orgasm. The picture was called Ecstasy and
I loved it. I wished I had drawn A like that. I could have draped her
across my chair but I had forgotten about the picture until I saw it again.
Uncle L's boat was moored down in
the river at Christchurch and it was very tidal dependent as to when you could
get out to the open sea. So we had to get up early the next day and get down to the boat so we could have a day
out on the Isle of Wight. Behind my
Uncle L's boat was moored the boat of his best friend,
Mr B, who was a very amusing, quick witted man with a German wife. He
had met her in Germany at the end of WW2. She was not attractive and was always
moaning in her appalling German come cockney accent. ‘It's cowld,’ she would
winge, ‘I vont to go back to Vindsor!’
We always went out in the boats
together. We all said hello, as B's wife moaned about the early start. I
helped Mr B get the cover off the boat as she refused to do anything
like that. Just as I had finished and hopped back onto the bank a girl appeared
weighed down with bags of stuff. Mr B
introduced her as Mrs B's niece from Germany, P.
"You can look after her this
weekend as she is about your age. Oh, but she doesn't speak any English" said Mr B. Great, I
thought. Then I looked at her and thought, could be worse. Rather surprisingly, she reminded me of A. She had similar coloured, light brown hair and it
was in an identical shoulder length style. She was slim, as well, and had a
nice smile. Yes, I thought, I don't mind looking after you at all. I helped
pass her various items across to her on the boat. She fumbled the binoculars and they dropped
towards the river but I managed to grab the neck strap and catch them.
"Well held!" said Mr B.
"Dank you!" said P, smiling at
me. What a nice smile! I am hopeless for a girl with a nice smile.
It was decided that P should go
on our boat as she could be with my sister and me. P endeared herself to
my sister by admiring her charm bracelet and they sat and looked at each charm
while my sister gave the English word: hat, bell etc and P gave the
German word. The last charm was a gold clarinet, the instrument my sister
played.
"Klarinette!" said P,
laughing. It was a shame, as my sister had chosen to do German for O-level but
wouldn't start until that September.
We took the long trip down the river out
to the river mouth at Mudeford, where the sand bar was, which restricted your ability
to get in and out at low tide. P spotted a cormorant sitting on top of a
wooden post at the edge of the channel.
"Wie heißt
es?"
"Das ist ein Kormoran!" said
my mother, following it up with a sentence or two in German.
"You speak German?" I asked
her, amazed.
"My grandfather was Austrian,"
she said. I sort of knew this but I had never heard my mother use any German, ever. She spoke good
French but German? Anyway, it made P relax
a lot, knowing there was someone on board who
could translate. P and I sat on the bow of the boat as we made our way through the lake-like
Christchurch Harbour, towards the narrow exit to the sea, I found that,
actually, P did have some English as she was learning it at school. She
also had some French so we managed to communicate quite well using a horrible
combination of three languages. Although I admit my German was limited to
phrases like hände hoch and schnell, schnell, which were not much
use.
We had to get into the stern of the
boat, once we got onto the open sea and went up on the plane. With my Uncle L steering
and five of us in the stern it got quite cosy and I was pleased that P sat next to me, our legs
touching. My sister caught my eye and nodded at our touching thighs as if to say, get out of contact,
but I ignored her. I steered the boat for part of the way and then P and my sister had a
turn. We were back sat in the stern when the boat hit some chop coming up to Hurst Castle and we
bounced around a bit. P fell onto my lap and pushed herself back up by placing her hands all
over my legs. My sister shook her head in despair.
We arrived in Yarmouth and went into a
pub we always visited, the King's Head, where they did a very good lunch. I
always had scampi and chips. My uncle asked if I was eighteen yet and I told
him not for six months. He said I looked eighteen and asked if I wanted a
cider. This I shared with P. She hadn't had it before but liked it.
"It's made with apfel, I said,
deploying one of my few non World War 2 film German words.
"Must!"
said my mother. P nodded in comprehension.
On the very short walk back to the
harbour, where we had to catch the harbour ferry to the boat (there were no
pontoons just standing piles to moor against), P, who had got quite tiddly on a
third of a pint of cider held my hand.
"I don't know what girls see in
you," muttered my sister. I didn't either but I wasn't going to complain about it.
The following day I helped Uncle L,
refuel the boat, while the others went off, with Mrs B, to buy things
for a picnic which we had decided, given the good weather forecast, that we
would have at Newtown Harbour on the Isle of Wight. This was a really beautiful
natural harbour where you could get to a beach. Later that morning Mr B turned
up with P in tow. He had to replace some part on his engine and Uncle L
was going to help. He suggested I take P off in the dinghy to look
at the river. Two rivers meet in Christchurch so there was lots to explore. I
knew how to operate the outboard, so we chugged off together. Despite the good
forecast for the next day it was a bit chilly on the river so we both put on
lightweight kagoules. I got mine knotted somehow and was struggling to get my
second arm into the sleeve. P helped me into it, and I got an unexpected
frisson from her touch on my arm.
"Danke schön!" I said.
"You are velcome!" she
replied. We both laughed at each other's language attempt.
We had a nice chug up and down for an
hour and only returned as we were getting low on petrol. She chattered away,
incomprehensibly, so I did the same. She kept asking what things were called in English. For the first
time since A had left, I felt a bit happier.
I did see P again that night as
we all went for dinner at the King's Arms Hotel in Christchurch. Uncle L had owned his own firm and had
retired at fifty, He had lots of money and was very generous in spending it.
Aunt J didn't like cooking so we went out most of the time when we were
down there. P was wearing a flowery sun dress, rather than the jeans and
baggy shirt she had worn earlier and looked pretty and feminine. The first
thing I noted, however, was her unexpectedly prominent bust. It wasn't huge but
it was significantly larger than A's. Not that I was particularly a bust man at
that point; it was just that that was the agreed measure of feminine worth at
school.
P was sat between
me and my mother and as I sat down next to her she squeezed my thigh. My sister was glaring at us from the
other side of the table. We had wine at dinner and P had a couple of
glasses. Mrs B said that she shouldn't have any as she was only fifteen
but her husband told her that a bit of wine was
fine. She did not get noticeably intoxicated but did give me a shy kiss in the
street outside when we left. Fortunately, my sister didn't see us. My mother did
and gave me an encouraging nod. I had been quite morose since A had left
for Scotland so she obviously thought that something that would cheer me up
would be a good thing. I was inclined to agree with her.
The kiss from P certainly did
cheer me up. I had despaired of meeting another girl after A left and yet here, only a month or so later,
was a girl who liked me enough to kiss me. Even if she was, perhaps, a bit drunk. It was just a
shame that she lived in Bavaria.
The day we went to Newtown Harbour the
weather was, indeed, lovely, in what was turning out not to be a brilliant
summer. Although we had been to the Isle of Wight quite a few times in the past
we always went to Yarmouth or Cowes. Newtown Harbour was invisible from the
sea. There was just a narrow entrance which you went through into a large salt
water lake with inlets and scattered islands. It is still one of my favourite
places. More than twenty years later I would have sex in the dark on the
foredeck of a sailing yacht anchored there and afterwards we would both lie on
our backs staring up at the Milky Way. One of the few places I have seen it, in
light polluted south east England.
After we had anchored, the girls went
below to change into their swimsuits. P came back into the cockpit wearing a flowery bikini
which confirmed her nicely shaped bust and also a trim waist, long legs and a golden tan. She
looked lovely,
"You look lovely!" I said. My
mother quickly translated but I think P knew what I had said, given her
big smile. Fortunately, my sister hadn't come up yet, While Aunt J took
my mother, sister, P and the picnic to the beach at the harbour
entrance, in the boat's little tender, Uncle L and I locked up the boat
and waited for Aunt J to return to pick us up.
"I know you have had a bit of a
disappointment with a girl, lately," said Uncle L. "But the
best thing is not to mope but to just jump back into the saddle!" He told
me that Mr B had told him P really liked me and had asked if I
had a girlfriend. He said he had told Mr B that a girl had just been
horrible to me and I was feeling very upset. I protested that A hadn't
been horrible to me but he said it would be best if P felt sorry for me.
"I think if you made an overture she wouldn't resist!" he said.
When we arrived at the beach the others
had spread out towels and blankets and were laying out quite an elaborate
looking picnic. The main thing, from my point of view, was that it had pork
pies and a tube of Colman's mustard. My sister, I was surprised to see, was
paddling in the sea with P but I decided not to join them because they
seemed to be getting on. My mother tried to encourage me to join them but I
said, maybe after lunch. Uncle L had bought (quite a lot of) Champagne
for lunch and P and I drank rather a lot. After lunch the adults sat and
chatted about boring people they knew, my sister settled down with her Ursula K
LeGuin book and so I took P for a walk along the beach, away from the
harbour entrance.
We were not in a rush, as we had to wait
for high tide before we could get back into Christchurch Harbour. The thing
about this beach was that you could pretty much only get to it by boat. There
was a footpath to it from inland but that would involve over a mile and a half walk
from the nearest parking. As we walked further, there were trees coming right
down to the beach on our left. P said
something to me and pointed at the sea. I wasn't very keen on swimming,
especially in the chilly Solent and I shook my head. I told her to go ahead. She pulled on my hand, gabbling away. I shook
my head again. She grinned ,put her hands behind her back and whipped off her bikini
top. I was completely shocked. I should have looked at her perky bust but
instead I just looked up and down the beach, making sure no one was about.
There wasn't but by the time I looked back at her she was pushing her bikini
bottoms down too, revealing her dark brown fluff. She kicked off her plastic
sandals and said something to me, pointing at my trunks. Did she really think I
was going to take my clothes off and jump naked into the sea with her? For a
start, it was illegal. I knew they had nudist beaches in Germany and Sweden but
we wouldn't get one in Britain for another three years. It only became legal to
be naked in public in Britain in 2003. I was so anxious about this I didn't really
take in her body at all. It was only later that I realised that her tan was an
all over one. She was wading into the sea, squealing at the cold. Or it could
have been the pebbles on the beach.. If you are going to make an exhibition of yourself do it quietly, I
thought. She got in up to her thighs and turned around and pointed at me, jeering.
I assumed it was the German equivalent of 'cowardy, cowardy, custard'. Kowardy,
Kowardy, Kustard. She was squawking away, still making far too much
noise. Then she held her arms out to me.
"Kommen! Bitte!" She
blew me a kiss. I remembered what Uncle L had said earlier and also
something my grandmother once said to me when I was about ten. "You only
regret the things you don't do!"
"Alright but be quiet!" I
said, unknotting the cord of my swimming trunks and pushing them over my
thighs, anxiously looking both ways up and down the beach as if I was about to
cross a busy road. ‘Look right, look left, look right again. If all clear,
quick march!’ as the road safety TV adverts used to say. In fact, thinking
about marching and the appearance of the local constabulary shouting ‘now then
now, then, what's going on 'ere!’ I decided to keep my canvas boating shoes on,
in order to facilitate a quick escape. if necessary.
The water was freezing but I was in a
dilemma as I thought I ought to get my genitals modestly under water but also
wanted to accustom my legs to the chill slowly. P splashed water over
me, twisted around and swam off away from me, her feet kicking up spray and her
taut little bottom sometimes showing just above the surface. I took a deep
breath and jumped forward to set off after her. Swimming in shoes was not easy
and I wasn't a very strong swimmer anyway. A powerboat had passed by several hundred
yards out and eventually the wash hit me causing me to splutter and have to
stand up. I tried to get the water out of my nose and blinked to clear my salty
eyes. P appeared in front of me looking anxious and making solicitous
sounding comments. I smiled and said I was OK. She put her hands on my hips and
then slid up to me, standing about six inches away and raising her face,
expectantly.
I initially thought that the last thing
I needed was to get all emotional with a girl, especially another younger girl.
But she looked so happy and cute and I liked kissing and she was a very pretty girl with a lovely figure, so I
put my hands on her shoulders, dipped my head and kissed her. Just a soft kiss
not much more than I'd give any girl. Not a sexual kiss. I pulled away after a
second or so. But she put her hand behind my neck and pulled me in for another
kiss. This time she started to work her lips on me and then I felt her tongue
dart between my lips. Oh well, I thought, if she wants that. I slipped a hand
down her back and it settled on her bottom. She moved in closer and somehow
seemed to mould herself to my body. It was almost like some sort of alien plant
that started to envelop me. I felt that she was melding into me. She lifted one
leg and ran the inside of her knee against the side of my thigh. It occurred to
me that she might be quite drunk on the Champagne and I was taking advantage of
her. But now she was straddling my thigh as we kept kissing. I was quite stiff
by now, not surprisingly, despite the cold water. The feel of her naked skin
pressed against mine in water was just wonderful. Her hand closed on my
erection and she kissed me harder. I started to edge her around, so I could look
over her shoulder to the beach and check no on was coming. It was still all clear,
miraculously.
Suddenly, she broke contact and waded
off towards the beach. I set off after her, realising that I had actually enjoyed
being naked in the sea. There was something elemental about it, I supposed. It
being the Solent, the water was none too warm anyway, so I was glad to get out.
Also, I couldn't believe our luck had held this long and nobody had appeared.
With another look around, I followed her, only to see her pick up both of our swimming
things and run into the trees. I
followed into the shade and found her standing, still naked, in front of me
with our swimsuits held behind her back. Her skin was covered in goosebumps and
her surprisingly dark nipples were erect. She pursed her lips in a kiss.
"One more," I said, stepping
towards her, Her body was cold but it felt wonderful. She dropped our swimming things
and we ran our hands over each other's wet backs and bottoms for several
minutes. I didn't initiate anything more. She didn't touch my cock again so I
kept my hands away from her breasts and pussy, although my erection was pressed
up against her cold belly. Then she stepped back and put her sandals on. I was
still very stiff but our interlude was obviously over, as she was putting her
bikini top back on, rather disappointingly. I pulled my trunks on easily, as at
least they were dry. Gradually, I subsided and we stepped out from the trees to
walk back along the shingle beach. A yacht was anchoring only fifty yards out
to sea from where we had been. We had been lucky.
But that was it for P and I. She
went back to Windsor with Mr and Mrs B but flew back to Germany a few
days later. I seemed to be doomed to meet nice girls who would then disappear to
far flung places.
Just before we went home from Uncle L
and Aunt J's they gave me a book. It was A5 sized with a hard cover
but inside it was blank drawing paper. They knew I was good at art and asked if
I would like to have it. Someone had given it to them but they had no use for
it. I was very pleased with it but
rather than drawing I started to jot down notes in it. Too call it a journal
would be giving it a rather grander title than it deserved but I did
(occasionally) write down my thoughts and experiences. My first skinny dipping
experience was the first thing I wrote down in it when I got home. ‘Had a
lovely one last night, First time for ages not thinking about A. Wish P
and I had had more time together!
But pretty P from Bavaria had
helped me in a huge way. I now knew that A was not to be the only woman
in my life. At least one other girl found me attractive. I just needed one who
could be around a bit longer and one who could speak English.
I had something to tell O when I
went back to school in September, anyway. What I wasn't to know was that my next girl would appear
in just a few weeks, would also be foreign and our interaction would also
involve swimming.
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